I love learning; especially lessons that I can apply to my day to day life in the roles I play as a man, husband, father, friend, professional etc. Some life lessons come at the expense of hard times, but some come from active learning. One of my favorite lessons learned came in Graduate school at Kutztown University… Go Bears!!! When Joanne Hamilton, one of my favorite professors, listened as students shared thoughts and feelings on a topic and a student used the word “Should”. She suddenly interrupted and began to shout… “Don’t you SHOULD on me baby”! That moment has stuck with me since and has impacted my life as a person and in my practice as a Mental Health Therapist.
In your thinking and talking to others, how many times do you hear the word “SHOULD”? My boss or company should do this. My partner should have done that. I should have done this. My kids should have… you get the point. The truth is… “Should”, doesn’t deal with reality. The reality is… you did not do what you now think you should have done. Others did not do what you think they should have done… and here we are.
It becomes easy to condemn other and ourselves for what we think should be or have been. We ignore the fact, that at that time in our lives, we made the best decision for ourselves with the information, willingness, and feelings at our disposal. Even if we had made a different decision; things would be different, but not necessarily better. “Should” doesn’t deal with reality. Reality is right here, right now, and waiting for you to do something with it. So what will it be? What will you do today, making the best decision for your life in all the roles you play, using all of the information, willingness, and feelings you have… allowing you to EVOLVE and erase SHOULD? Ready, Set, EVOLVE! I want to hear your thoughts. Share with me at: www.facebook.com/menevolvingnow orwww.twitter.com/dremenandwomen